Mr. Wedding Crasher

It was crazy to think here I was at a good friends surprise wedding! It felt like it was only a few months ago she had met her mister right, picked up and moved a gazillion miles away to pursue this crazy thing people call 'love'. It worked though... enough to spawn this beautiful, laid back, totally sentimental memory we were all there to share and witness that unsuspecting summer day. I was with my mini-me, surrounded by more than a few familiar faces and familiar acquaintances. As I look around this huge backyard, decorated with family, friends, and flowers…I spot this tall tatted guy with very deep dimples …I’ll just call Mr. Wedding Crasher. He wasn’t what I was used to. Sure he was tall, tatted and had some note-worthy swagger. But there was something about him that was very different from what I was used to…he was a friend of a friend lol. So of course I made use of the social network and asked a few trustworthy sources (one of my best friends/sisters) to do a little subtle investigation. What my sis brought back was resourceful, enough to make me question…”how will I balance being desirable with my beautiful rambunctious toddler in tow?” It was simple. Just do what I do usually but turned all the way down LOL. 


After a few smiles and distant lingering eye exchanges we managed to find ourselves alone at the DRANK station while my sis and her Mister were on “practice parent” patrol lol. I complimented his tatts, he thanked me and proceeded to share details about their origins (that I didn’t really give a shit about but pretended to value). And that was it. As quick as we met we quickly wrapped up our convo. It was brief but long enough to feel there was a spark. I guess because of the set up being so intimate and exposed amongst friends… there’s only so much we could of really said to each other (without too many nosey ears listening). Plus, I was still in mommy mode… and that was the best I could do. Thankfully, it happened to be enough. Unfortunately, not enough to exchange numbers at the wedding but more than enough to warrant a passive aggressive facebook friend add  and message a couple days later (initiated by me) to seal the deal. So from there we exchanged numbers, figured out a day to go out and…”get to know each-other”. 


A week or so later, we met in his end of the woods and as I got out of my car to go greet bullshit - it starts to pour like crazy. I’m looking very cute in very high summer heels, sexy fitted jeans courtesy of Mr Calvin Klein and my extensions were heavenly tamed by my dope diffuser. With all that fabulousness considered, I wasn’t trying to walk to any bar in the rain to fuck that up. So we jump under some coverage by one of his local convenience stores and he begins to help wipe rain off my face and sizes me up lol. He backs up and says I look beautiful and it’s shame about the weather… and I say thanks. I go on to ask “how far is this bar from here?” He says “just around the corner, I’d say lets drive but it would take longer for us to walk to my car or yours and then drive and find a parking space”. So I begin to read his body language and before I can estimate what to say next he pulls me into him by my waist and proceeds to ask me what I want to do. At which point, I ask him what he wants to do and then without any hesitation he pulls me in closer and kisses me. I go with it, this for whatever reason doesn’t offend me but I now realize this lead to a series of mistakes I made with Mr. Wedding Crasher.


So we are in heavy offensive PDA, but it never gets indecent and then I utter in haste “lets go to your place”. He seemed shocked, I guess thinking we’d still go to the bar but without any reservations takes my hand and in the rain starts to lightly jog while pulling me behind him. So we get to his place which is literally a 5 minute light jog away from where we were and we walk in his place relieved to be out of the pouring rain. And like a couple of sex starved panthers the sweaty dance ensues. Are clothes drop quickly to the ground and our first date never happens. Countless nights like this happen over and over again. Our sexual chemistry is strong and much too distracting to even consider going back to exploring each-other outside of sex. After a many months of this amazing sex but frivolous relationship I grew tired of the set up (like most women do). I express that and it spawns a series of unnecessary exchanges, disagreements and random gaps of us dating other people and treating each other like booty-calls. Our pillow talk was always on a level, but I think the reason it evolved so quickly into that sexual space was situational.  My slutty switch was flicked on and we knew each other from a familiar territory… mutual friends. So inevitably, we ended it almost more than a year and a half later because I met someone else. We kept things civil, it was on amicable terms. His last text to me was and I quote “Hes a lucky guy” I proceed to tell him yea he knows lol at which point he tells me “Smart guy too then” and close the convo with a simple wink.


I never regret anything. I’m shamelessly unapologetic when it comes to life and especially when it comes to sex, dating and love. With Mr Wedding Crasher, I chose fabulous Samantha “Sex in the City” Orgasmic heaven over a possibly very serious relationship. But looking back… I wonder what would have happened if we went to the bar that night? Our sexual chemistry was amazing, but what if our friendship was amazing too? All in all, this particular relationship made me reevaluate what I wanted from my next relationship and led me on a path of corny ass shameful discovery I’m truly thankful for. So thank you Mr. Wedding Crasher. Our orgasmic nights and fiery exchanges led me to a new realm of self-awareness and honesty. You helped me identify the type of committed monogamous relationship I wanted with orgasmic standards held just as high lol.