The phases some of us curvy women go through while we date, love and kick the many experiences we gather along our dating journey.
I should start off by saying as a woman you are different things to different people. Sometimes that's dictated by your mood or even the intentions. Depending on the quantitative impact of your smoldering bedroom eyes, beautiful smile and plump rump lol...you may have garnered even a certain reputation at some points. But one thing I know for sure, we all go through phases that are a reflection of where we are emotionally or our wants physically. I present to you ..The Dating Phases of Single-hood.
During this phase of singlehood, women are known for living by the "I'm just doin' me" mantra. In other words, the mentality is "I can't be held accountable for my actions...so forgive me later". When you're knee deep in this phase of dating, you’re all about new experiences that are fun and non-committal. You kinda just find yourself in this space after a nasty breakup or a long stretch of focusing on a career/educational/financial goal. You're all about release and fab revolution. It's not always tantric but there is an air of liberation with every "Bitch, don't kill my vibe!" step. You'll pay a little more attention to your general appearance in social environments. Pretty much you may be waist training 5 days a week rather than your usual two and your social calendar (in comparison to weeks before) would make someone think you’re bipolar. It's a fun time and if you're doing it right? You'll be laughing as much as you orgasm lol.
At this point of singlehood, you're burnt-out and had a few unwanted dates that have become redundant. You are tired of being un-attached (but are in absolute denial) so you revamp your "mate check list" and so ensues thirsty behavior. You start to source dates like a coordinator...getting leads from family, friends, coworkers, bar mates and your general social sphere. You have heightened awareness of all the opportunities and resources you have to meet your next boo. You're texting feverishly, checking your pof inbox regularly, going for drinks with possible suitors every other night and rehearsing your general script about who you are and what you're looking for right now. For me, this phase is exhausting and hasn't lasted long in my journey. With some, this phase takes a lifetime because they either are very picky or enjoy the ritualistic components of it. There aren't many rules to follow during this phase, but I guess your mentality is most definitely different. You're more mindful of your actions possible impact... specifically on new relationships, appearance is errythang and analysis is necessity.
So you've warmed up to a possible boo that has your attention. Nothing has become official yet and.. you may still even have your bootycall on speed-dial lol. But one thing is for-sure, you are on the verge of wifeydom. The signs are at your feet, plain as day and so it's time to touch up on those wifey/monogamy skills you had or now need (based on your interest in this potential boo). You may enlist in a burlesque dance class to embrace the "lady in the street freak in sheets" philosophy or start practicing your cooking skills at home with friends before you attempt to cater to your new Bae.
Smitten & Bitten
Its official! You're in a relationship! You're smitten with all the things that will eventually annoy you and you’ve been bitten by the hallmark definition of "profuse like". You're having regular sex, you're more mindful of your growing lingerie collection, you may be looking online for your horoscope compatibility with your new boo and you’re laughing/loving out-loud all around the city - totally carefree *cue Mariah's We belong together*.
It’s so crazy to think we as women actually are this multifaceted in our romantic lives ...but we are. Embrace each one, learn timeless lessons and have little to no regret over everything else.