My 5 Boyfriend Commandments

When I'm in full pursuit of Mr. Right...I make sure to follow these 5 laws or commandments (I grew up catholic 0:-) - I can't help it).  Relationships are not easy and I've learned you must value the bond you make with an individual when you decided to invest your soul into a serious relationship. You need to take time to get to know what you're getting into and who you plan on growing with ...even if it's just for a season. My 5 Boyfriend Commandments are a safe buffer when a man of substance and worthy interest is a contender for monogamy.

Hold off on sex for the first 6-8 weeks. Yes, i mean it. I've broken this rule a time or two, but in this span of time you can get to know a bunch about someone you're dating. Sex can be a distraction. If you can't be friends with the guy you're dating and you are in a mode where you want a serious relationship..then sleeping with him prematurely might get in the way of getting to know him. Build a bond before the sweaty baby making practice ensues. Kiss, cuddle, fingers can roam freely with lube in tow but NO oral or traditional penis to vajajay sex from either party. Holding off on sex has nothing to do with power and that's where some women get it wrong, it has everything to do with learning about each-other without that distraction.

Meeting people from their Social Circle. Friends are sometimes an indicator of a few personality traits you wouldn't necessarily see until you are exposed to your dude in a social setting beyond you and him. Before you invest in having a serious relationship with a dude seeing him amongst friends, family and/or peers is everything. Understanding that part of someones life will give you a better understanding of what you will be up against should things end up being serious. If he's extremely social and has a pool of platonic people in his life that are high maintenance (for example, will constantly be a consistent presence more than the norm) it's something to note. You know your terms and depending on your mentality ...his social circle might be a deal breaker. 

Experience something new together. This is a huge one. In order to truly see someone vulnerable, you must see how they do things in a virginous state. So make the effort to talk about things you have yet to do as individuals that you would like to do together. It can be tame or require insurance lol. Be it taking a sushi class or doing a 5k run, you will see a sign of your new potential boo that you may adore or despise.

Overnight Trip. It's a necessary evil. You need to spend 24 hours with one another to REALLY get a feel for who they are through and through. Yes, dude might be on his best behavior and it would take a disciplined individual or an extreme sociopath to conquer a whole 24 hours without letting a little bit of themselves slip out. The way in which your mate sleeps, grooms and treats people in passing are telling experiences worth witnessing before he officially becomes your man.

Run an errand together. I know this one seems basic, but most people don't do this. Going grocery shopping together or tagging along for a car detailing or tune-up will show more than you realize. How does he like to spend his money? What are regular shmegular activities to your potential mister? How does he manage his time? Seeing someone do something borderline necessity will help you understand what they value and why. It also gives you another opportunity to spend time together without the usual dating pressure of glaming up or being a bit over the top. Spending an afternoon or Sunday morning running errands with a partner in crime can be fun... if the chemistry is there. And if it's not? then one more reason to keep it moving without being totally invested. 

It's not easy getting to know someone and if they're meant to be here for more than a minute of your time it should be fun and memorable. These boyfriend commandments are merely a loose guide of experiences that will give you a glimpse of the type of man he truly is. It's not meant to be a series of tests.  It's essentially just a set of social parameters that'll give you time and an ample buffer to get to know this gentleman that has captured your attention.

xoxo Ally