Mr. Thirsty

This guy I met on a break with an ex back in the days of MSN messenger and when people still fucked with Friendster lol. He was much older than me, a fitness professional and I met him on the ttc just minding my own business. He wasn't really that tall, but he was charismatic enough to catch the attention of a few women that were sitting around us and he had these very mischievous dimples. He was sexy, chocolatey and yet my spidey senses always told me to keep him at a distance. There was no real red flags, because i never let it get that far. But ever since we met, he was extremely persistent and we always kept crossing paths whether we liked it or not. 

We had gone on a few dates, nothing but a simple gentlemanly peck happened at best. He wanted more, but i eventually got back with my ex and the situation ended before it started. A few years had gone by, after I was freshly single post baby...we reconnected when we bumped into each other walking down the street in the city. He was still very cute and still very interested in me. Because I was still very focused on my motherhood when we connected again... I had an insanely busy schedule.  But we managed to communicate via phone and text mostly when time would let us. All this time and the friendly fun exchanges were there but so were my reservations. I had this joke with him...for years. Anytime he would try to reach out before, I would refer to his imaginary wife. She was imaginary because I never saw her and he never mentioned her. I would tell him he can't afford to piss off his wife and I would imply Toronto is very small. In other words, I would pull some jedi mind tricks merely to see him squirm... because the voices told me to lmao (remember my 62% of crazy). Eventually, we made time to get some yummy sushi as an excuse to catch up... planning the "date" didnt feel romantic at all. But it did lead me to the sushi spot I selected, looking fabulous as always and he looked rather yummy too. But this was at a point where I was borderline a-sexual (mostly due to lack of sleep) and literally was in survival mode. We laughed, we nibbled on our Sashimi and it was fun times. But then he reaches for my hand and awkwardly tries to get romantic. Of course this is the opportune time for me to initiate my crazy bitch tactic of cockblock 101 and... I mention his imaginary wife. I sharply pull my hand away and whisper "but what about you wife?".  My face was more serious than usual and it wasn't intentional, I guess I was just in one of those moods. Here I was being the dramatic crazy bitch that I can be (every so often) and I was expecting his usual laugh and corny rebuttal ..only to be shocked by his response. "No she wont, the divorce is almost final". All of a sudden, a cold sweat just rolled down my back. I freeze and then I start to nervously laugh with crazy big Romona Singer type eyes (google housewives of new York right quick lol). "YOU'RE ACTUALLY FUCKIN MARRIED??!" I say loud enough for others to hear and his face automatically soaked in guilt. Now, there's no room for back pedaling . Maybe it was my cleavage and the fact we were having such a good time.... that was enough truth serum to get this man after 1219303728372083720 years of pursuing me to admit his ass was married. He starts to say "well you knew..." and in this instance ...I honestly didn't know. Our exchanges over the years never warranted snooping or any real research.  But I blame it solely on my intuition. It's stubborn and mindful of pushing through... under any circumstance. After he made the admission, my seat began to get a bit too hot so I had to abruptly excuse myself before it went from a comical place to a ratchet aggressive one. It wasn't a dramatic departure, just a necessary one. He tried to reach out a few days after but... the whole thing was wasteful energy. I had and have no patience for that kind of fuckery. 

Even though I wasn't highly invested in this man, the fact he was so persistent for so long was boggling to me. Yes, I am a beautiful, intelligent, funny, sexy woman... but there are many of us out there. And he was not the first "attached" man to creep in and betray me in a way *cough* sociopath boxer *cough*. I wasn't remotely hurt or even that bothered... but rather just trying to logically grasp his persistence. 

But the story hasn't ended just yet, it reopened just last December. I was running around buying gifts for my daughter, heading up yonge street. I hit midtown, just after driving across Eglinton and I felt someone staring at me. So I glance over and he motions for me to pull down my window. I do and who the fuck is it? Mr. Thirsty. he had the nerve to ask if I remembered him. Of course I then addressed him by his last name so he understood It wasn't that long ago. He proceeded to ask me how I was doing (in the middle of bumper to bumper traffic) and I tell him "really good". He then asks....if I popped out a second baby yet. Yes, this muhfucker had that type of fuckin nerve. I say no with obvious stank eye. Being under very good manners that day, I ask him how he's been and he answers "well look at my upgrade? I'm living nice". That in itself was rather douchey, he was riding in a new Porsche Cayenne. I respond with a simple laugh.. not at all flirty, He doesnt read that and then this muhfucker has the never to say "when can I take you out for sushi again? When are you going to make space for me?" Being the precision driver that I am ... I was oh so curteous that day I respond without hesitation "you can have my space right here and proceed to drive off and cut the driver in front of him off. i never weaved through toronto traffic with a bigger grin on my face. As passed different cars and strategically blew passed bloor st he was attempting to keep up in his upgrade but he was well behind me,  And that where i plan to keep him. Cause although he is a successful, good looking, socially fun individual...i have no time for that fuckin drama. Men are still in abundance and i'm not remotely thirsty right now.