Big, Black, beautiful as ever.

This title was of course inspired by one of the rappers I used to obnoxiously mimic at school dances in my elementary school days. God rest his talented soul... Mr. Biggie Smalls. Biggie's "One more chance" smash hit inspired the tittle because I am indeed a hip hop head.  

Being a plus size black woman has been an enjoyable experience. Watching people in your peripheral tread softly while others literally seek you out because of uninhibited curiosity has been ...interesting to say the least lol. Having dated men who are European, West-Indian, African, Middle Eastern, Asian and Latino... of different ages and different socio-economic backgrounds ... it's fair to say I've had a colorful dating experience. Never were they limited either, I have never felt limited in my skin. I hold nothing but absolute adoration of my dark chocolaty skin and my unapologetically different perspective on female identity, beauty and gender norms. Being a leader in the Millennial Black curvy girl tribe has been a sincere experience. And being comfortable in my skin comes from my immediate family life.

My mother raised me to think my shit didn't stink with grace. She always encouraged my unique opinions, even if she didn't agree with them. It wasn't always roses and bliss, but my mom is my closest confidant and knows more about me than most. She herself has always been a pillar of strength, for both her husband, children and her siblings. But as strong an energy as she is, she is as vulnerable as any women you know. My mother could run an individual out of her presence with just a stern look and a few words lol. The balance between strong, hard, soft and feminine is what I admire most about my mother.  I incorporate that balance into my journey on a daily basis. My mother has been married to my father for over 40 years and my dad has been just as supportive. So although him and I have butted heads (like most have with their parents) I have no daddy issues to disclose lol.

I was raised in an environment of opportunity ...because my parents had nothing but good intentions. But with every accolade, they firmly reminded my brothers and I of who the fuck we were. Beautiful black children. And they did every thing in their power to encourage us to embrace all aspects of who we were without hindering any opportunities presented to us. So as I transitioned form childhood, to my teenage chaos and into woman-hood ... knowing my worth and my beauty has been embedded in my core. Owning all aspects of your identity is empowering. Embracing your beauty is what will capture the right attention worth your time. Am I everyone's flavor? Absolutely not and I'm grateful I'm not. But although many have acknowledged my beauty... it has never defined my worth. I'm beautiful because I know so... not because he told me so. Men only admirer our beauty... it is our responsibility as women to define it with care. Which I have and will continue to do. And it's always been that simple.

Big is my body, Black is my skin and forever beautiful in my words... on my terms.

xoxo Ally