Yes. I’m going there. Anyone one that has been actively single for a while has a few lingering exes form their past. Sometimes they are easily accessible and at times convenient as fuck. Its familiar territory and why not revisit an old friend in a good familiar places. NO matter how dysfunctional your relationship was or how long its been… sometimes chemistry does more than it’s suppose to. I’ve done this without regret and in other instances had to bitch slap myself into reality and remove myself from the #dickdrunktrain that was delusion. I feel there are a few pro’s and cons to consider if you are entertaining picking someone out of your recycling bin of exes.
Pro. Keep The Body Count Low
It’s simple. You’re not increasing the number of penises and/or vaginas that have plagued your sexual past. Who or how this is beneficial...? depends on your moral conditioning concerning sexual promiscuity.
Con. Increase the drama pool by 1000 percent
If you are prone to getting caught into precarious circumstances, a messy ex that is extremely social can prove to bring you unnecessary drama. Their current roster of dating options may or may not have creeped your Instagram. But there's always one that is extremely invested and may even aim for a crazy bitch gold star by getting all the way up in your business (with your or even your exes knowledge). Who wants to go through all of that just for a piece of batty? Sigh….
Pro. Guarantee of AMAZINGLY good sex.
This is my fave reason. Sometimes in certain past relationships... the only good that came of your union was the BOMB ass sex. The chemistry never faded because maybe you both never let the outside dysfunction compromise the sexual synergy.
Con. Compromising potential prospects
if you’re actively looking and dating... sleeping with your ex may get messy as hell. Rather than putting all your energy into getting to know someone new, you’re still giving part of your time and attention to someone who you inevitably found wasn’t the best match. You might let penis or vagina dictate where you should be on a Friday night or how early a date should wrap up because of that warm feeling "great sex" with an Ex gives you. That’s not always productive depending on emotionally where you’re at/ if you want to step into another serious relationship.
Pro. Low maintenance option
Messing with an ex means you have an established sense of comfort. Fuck shaving your legs, rushing over to your wax girl for your brazilian or stressing about getting a mani/pedi. The struggle sock (the one with big hole on the toe) you wore out of desperation wont be judged by an ex lol. There’s no time for that, you’ve passed that phase lol. You’re one goal is hooking up, kicking boots, flexing… nothing else really. General etiquette and decency applies but…. Your ex is a low maintenance option. Cha
Con. Encouraging Vagina Entitlement
Yes. This one is weird and I've come across it a couple times. You guys exchange sweaty energy a few times post break up and yet there’s still this territorial behavior that ensues. You find yourself adhering to relationship type situations. You start explaining why you took too long to respond to a text all because you've rekindled a sense of consistency. One that your ex might think warrants partial stake in your vagina… wanting to know the how, when, what, where and the who’s of your vaginal escapades. Don't be fooled, he ain't your man he's your ex. As my girls from salt n peppa used to say AINT NUNYA BUSINESS!
Pro. Rekindling an unsuspecting legitimate relationship
This can get scary if you really weren’t looking for it. It’ll sneak up on you like a bad yeast infection after trying a new body wash that was on sale. It takes time, but once its there its obvious. You may be in different spaces, you may now be in a space to truly work together and love one another. You may be able to give it a fair shot…but never start fuckin an ex with those expectations or else it will lead you to the disappointing but common final con….
Con. Reviving a dead horse
You realize the sex is great or not so great … so what was the point of reviving this relationship with your ex? What did you really get out of it? You both start getting sick of each other or worse board as hell. A couple months of this "great convenient guarded safe familiar" sex has encourage nothing but a few sweaty romps that took you away from friends, family and other opportunities.
I honesty don’t believe in having regrets. Everything has a purpose in your journey... no matter how wasteful it may seem. Without the pain/challenges, especially in love... you wont know how to truly value the vibrant loving positive experiences in life. So just know entertaining an ex is not an easy business regardless of how convenient it might be. Appreciate that you broke up with your exes for a reason and it’s worth thinking twice about... before you jump in the bed with them for one last hoorah.