Dating with Disease: Is it really your fuckin business?

As someone who has been in this dating game for a minute, it's a taboo but REAL conversation people should have with anyone their dating. Some people are vain and sometimes that vanity can distract individuals from...how to value their bodies and how they value their fuckin health! 

Why is it uncomfortable to share your health status? We always want to lead with our best foot forward, but health risks and challenges may contribute to our lifestyles in ways that require disclosure to our friends, family and sometimes the people we share intimacy with. So as you date, mate and relate? I think it should be more than just your business. 

I was diagnosed with Polycystic Kidney Disease (log on to www.endpkd.ca for more info) in my pregnancy. Although it hasn't hindered my "day to day" life, it has most definitely made me hypersensitive to individuals that face health challenges, sometimes out of their control. But to keep with the theme of my blog, I think it's best to understand the context. No one person is immune to everything, everyone may be faced with circumstances relating to their health that may present challenges.  When you're aware that you have mental health issues, physical ailments that aren't transparent to the average person or a condition you've been managing from a young age... how do you go about sharing this with someone you're just getting to know? Here are some key things to think about... 

How may your condition impact your relationship? This might be about you but its not all about you! Is your health challenge communicable? will it hinder your abilities in any way that may affect your time with someone you care for? If the answers to these questions are YES than a conversation is warranted and most times absolutely necessary. 

How important is this person to you? are they just a sexual fling? do you see potential in spending quality time with them? Are they someone want to commit to? This dictates how soon you should share and what specifically. 

Why you shouldn't keep it a secret? Keeping secrets in a relationship worth investing in arent healthy ways to build strong bonds. Establish trust and give your partner a chance to understand your circumstance without prejudice. This will offer an opportunity to allow your partner to support you in ways you may not anticipate. 

Why you should keep it secret? Sometimes being all the way vulnerable isn't always necessary. Don't feel compelled to share your challenges with someone who doesn't care, isnt invested in you in anyway. Don't assume sharing will encourage a thoughtful response from someone who is frivolous AF.  

Once you've had time to reflect, collect and understand where you're at with your relationship goals or one relationship in particular ...it shouldn't be as challenging to share your circumstance. Although health may be a sensitive issue to anyone who may be facing issues or have any concerns independently, it's not always a challenge you need to take on alone. 

XOXO Ally